Amber's Ramblings: Don't live life in the rear view mirror

When I was little, I thought that I remembered Heaven. I think my earliest deep thoughts of life were about how happy I was and I could swear I remembered what it was like to be with God. Now, whether or not that was my real thoughts or just the brilliant imagination of a small girl, I know today that the warmth and love that I felt then for God is the very same thing I feel today.

In all those years in between the toddler stage and the angsty teen life, we all seem to fall away from God. What happens in those years for many of us? Mortal life. That's what. We live. We go day to day just trying to get by. Surviving high school and discovering there's a brand new world when we go to college, we tend to fall away from what is really important. We tend to think we are invincible. Life rushes full steam. We stop going to church, and instead we go to parties. We stop asking the advice of our parents and God, and we trust those who don't always lead us down the right path. We have teachers and professors drilling into us what is right and what is wrong, and we suddenly become the smartest beings around. We make wrong decision after wrong decision, swearing that we'll get it right the next time... just to turn around and do the same thing again. Sound familiar? Yeah, it tends to happen to all of us. So when life comes full circle, what happens next?

God tugged convincingly in my heart for several years. I've always been a "Christian" though there were many times when I didn't feel like I was living the right life. Most of us have those moments when we just feel like there is nothing that we could do to be worthy. At church today, my pastor spoke about this. In the words he said, a thought popped through my head: "Don't live life in the rear view mirror." There's clearly regrets we all face in life. There are none of us that are perfect by any means, but I think we all have to stop looking back at those errors and seek God to see what it is that we should do next. My pastor said that God is that little whisper urging us to get closer to Him. It's hard to hear that whisper unless we are in close proximity. It made me think hard about what I do to get closer to God. Even though I feel like I've been a Christian forever, I've spent very little time trying to get that connection. Spiritual attacks can come at you from all sides and try to hit you hardest when you are at your best with God. That seems to be the game the Devil really thrives to win. You think you aren't good enough? Well, the Devil tries to make sure you feel like crap. You think you don't have any way you can do the things that God sets upon your heart to do? Well, Satan will do his worst to see that you don't succeed. With all these thoughts, I don't know that I really have any jewels of wisdom, but I do say that I'm eagerly searching to do what I can to serve God and bring others to Christ. When I truly decided to let go of my fear, I learned I could do anything and that I would be tempted in a lot of ways. I'm learning from church that if I am confident in my faith and actively search for God's direction, I'll be able to help those who need it and myself as well.

Something else hit me today that I feel compelled to say. We always hear that saying: 100% of us will die. The odds are definite. You don't get a second chance. If you don't believe in God or have any kind of relationship with Jesus, what happens to you when you die? I'm certain that there is Heaven on the other side, but for those that don't know, my question to you is: What is it that keeps you from trying it out? I know there are plenty of churches and "religious" people who are judgmental and treat people horribly. Not all of them are like that. Remember what Jesus taught us in John 8:7:  So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

God doesn't look at us as the horrible people that society, our friends, our neighbors or even the world might think. He sees us as his children. Yeah, we can be screwed up. We make big mistakes, and we crawl back for forgiveness. Even some of the most important people in the Bible did some really terrible things. But, and this is the key, we all do. We are all human, and we have a Father who looks past that and still loves us. For even a second, if I were not a Christian, and I wondered "what if?", I'd try my best to see what God has to offer. What if, in all this, you realize that God has been there all along for you? What if you look back to some time when you were little and your mom or dad dragged you kicking and screaming to church that you knew, deep down, that you had a purpose there? Find your purpose. Connect with God. 

Vampire Diaries Recap: The Sacrifice

Elena hears something in the house, and bumps into Jenna and Alaric, who are getting some ice cream after what looks to have been a pleasurable evening. Jenna is happy, and Elena is okay with the couple spending more time together. But there is someone else in the Gilbert house. It’s Luka’s dad, Jonas. He grabs a some jewelry and a picture of Elena, waits until she goes back to bed and leaves through the front door.

Stefan and Damon go to the tomb. They ask Katherine for the moonstone. She gives them an offer. She gives them the moonstone in return for letting her get out of the tomb and leaving Mystic Falls. She is bored and hungry.
Damon and Stefan go back to Elena’s house. They tell her that Slater, who is Rose’s friend, told them that there is a way can release the spell that binds the Petrova doppelganger to the moonstone. Elena doesn’t want them to do it. She is afraid that Klaus will kill them all, and she doesn’t want everyone risking their lives to save her.
Bonnie and Luka talk at school. Bonnie tells him that she is having a bad reaction to performing witchcraft, including nosebleeds. He asks her if she has ever channeled another witch to draw power from them. They use her necklace to channel their power together. They do a little hocus pocus and get a strong reaction. The wind causes leaves to blow all around them and they both look very pleased. Jeremy walks up, Luka leaves, and Bonnie acts defensive when Jeremy calls Luka weird. Bonnie answers her phone and it is Damon.
Elena goes to see Rose at the boarding house. Elena says that Rose owes them so she wants her to take her to see Slater. Rose realizes that Damon and Stefan wouldn’t approve of Elena doing this. Elena asks her if she would like to walk in the daylight, and of course Rose admits after 500 years she would.
Tyler shoots some hoops with Matt at school. Matt apologizes for picking a fight with Tyler and with what happened to Sara. Tyler accepts the apology. Caroline walks up to talk to Matt. He cuts their conversation short. Caroline goes to Tyler, and she offers to help him with his first transformation.
Bonnie tells Damon, Jeremy and Stefan about her plan to get into the tomb to get the moonstone. She asks for something that belongs to Katherine.
Elena and Rose go to see Slater, and they find him dead. They snoop through his apartment to see if they can find anything of use. They find a girl named Alice hiding.
Bonnie, Damon and Stefan take Kat’s old photo to perform a ritual to turn the metal to ash so that it will incapacitate her long enough so they can get the moonstone from her.
Meanwhile, Caroline and Tyler are traipsing through the woods on the old Lockwood property. They find an old diary that belonged to Mason. It chronicles everything that happened to him. They found an SD card in the diary.
Bonnie talks to Jeremy in the house after the ritual. She promises to him that she will be fine. He grabs some of the ashes while she is not looking.
At Slater’s apartment we find out that Alice is Slater’s girlfriend. She is a human who wants to be turned. Elena asks Alice for Slater’s computer password. She tells Alice that she will ask Rose to change her. Rose tells Elena that she is not getting her blood. Although the computer’s hard drive is wiped, there is a back up server. They find emails between Slater and Cody Weber. Elena says that she wants to get Cody the message that the doppelganger is alive and is ready to surrender. Rose says it is a suicide mission for her to sacrifice herself for her family.
Jeremy goes to see Katherine. He demands the moonstone. He uses the ash to get it. He looks for it on Katherine but it’s not there. He goes deeper into the tomb to get it but Kat wakes up and attacks Jeremy.
Rose calls Damon. Stefan and Bonnie go to the tomb. They see the moonstone and knows something is up. Jeremy apologizes for his plan.
Jonas cuts Elijah’s hand for a spell to search for Elena. As Elena looks out a window, she sees Elijah’s reflection in it. She turns around, startled when she realizes no one is there.
Bonnie still has some of the ash from Katherine’s picture, and she says that she and Stefan can still get Jeremy out of the tomb. She uses Luka’s energy to help her for the spell to allow Stefan passage.
Tyler and Caroline take the card that they found and watch the video diary of Mason to see the measures he took to save others from his transformation. Tyler is distraught by seeing Mason’s pain.
Damon goes to get Elena from Slater‘s apartment. She doesn’t want to be saved, but Damon isn’t taking no for an answer. Moment of intensity when their strong wills come to a boiling point…He tells her to never do that again.
Bonnie causes Luka extreme pain from using him for the spell. Luka tells his dad that he showed her how to channel his power, and that he was doing what he asked when he told him to get close to Bonnie. Luka and Bonnie both pass out. Bonnie wakes up and realizes she can’t do the spell. Stefan jumps in the tomb to get Jeremy out, and it causes him to be stuck in there with Katherine.
Tyler questions Caroline why she cares so much. She says she was alone during her first change into a vampire and she killed someone. She doesn’t want Tyler to be alone. The doorbell rings. It’s Matt. They are happy to see each other, but then Tyler comes to the door too, and Matt looks sad.
Cody and a couple of his guys come to get Elena. Damon tells Elena he will break her arm is she goes to them. Elijah shows up. Cody explains to him that she is the Petrova doppelganger. Elijah thanks him for being useful and kills Cody and his sidekick. He then runs out the door, and Rose takes off, too.
Elijah is back at the Martins. He tells Jonas that he had a run in with Damon. He says that Elena will be safe with Damon, and that is what he needs right now, is for her to be safe.
Jeremy and Bonnie get home. They argue about what happened. Bonnie tells Jeremy that he can’t have feelings for her. He says him almost dying is a chance he was willing to take. They almost kiss. She says she can’t and walks out the door.
Damon takes Elena home. Damon tells Elena she was incredibly stupid for trying to sacrifice herself, but Elena doesn’t really care. Jeremy tells them about Stefan. Elena goes to the tomb with Damon tagging along, and Damon won’t let her go into the tomb to be with Stefan.
“Of all the idiot plans, Stefan”, Damon says, after he once again matched wills with Elena and made her leave.
Stefan asks that Damon promise that he will protect Elena. He promises and then leaves. Katherine tells Stefan, “ that right there was the biggest mistake you’ll ever make.’
In the preview for the next episode: Stefan and Elena get steamy, and Damon has Elena all to himself.
So are you a Team Damon or Team Stefan? Do you think that Luka will ultimately help Bonnie? Will Stefan betray Elena by sleeping with Katherine? Leave your comments on the episode and what you hope happens next.
Check out my full Vampire Diaries blog at http://lostblog.com/?p=13443.

The Beatles on iTunes ... Merry Christmas, one and all!

 The Beatles are now on iTunes. This is one feat for the Apple brand's digital media player application that has been a hard road. The band will offer 13 studio albums, each with iTunes LP, featuring lyrics, liner notes, a mini-documentary about the album, and more.

The Past Masters collection and the famed “Red” and “Blue” compilations will also be available along with The Beatles Box Set, which includes the group's entire catalog, mini-documentaries, photos, and a video of the band's first U.S. concert, the 1964 show at Washington Coliseum, for about $150. Sounds like the perfect digital stocking stuffer for a Beatles fanatic.