When I was little, I thought that I remembered Heaven. I think my earliest deep thoughts of life were about how happy I was and I could swear I remembered what it was like to be with God. Now, whether or not that was my real thoughts or just the brilliant imagination of a small girl, I know today that the warmth and love that I felt then for God is the very same thing I feel today.
In all those years in between the toddler stage and the angsty teen life, we all seem to fall away from God. What happens in those years for many of us? Mortal life. That's what. We live. We go day to day just trying to get by. Surviving high school and discovering there's a brand new world when we go to college, we tend to fall away from what is really important. We tend to think we are invincible. Life rushes full steam. We stop going to church, and instead we go to parties. We stop asking the advice of our parents and God, and we trust those who don't always lead us down the right path. We have teachers and professors drilling into us what is right and what is wrong, and we suddenly become the smartest beings around. We make wrong decision after wrong decision, swearing that we'll get it right the next time... just to turn around and do the same thing again. Sound familiar? Yeah, it tends to happen to all of us. So when life comes full circle, what happens next?
God tugged convincingly in my heart for several years. I've always been a "Christian" though there were many times when I didn't feel like I was living the right life. Most of us have those moments when we just feel like there is nothing that we could do to be worthy. At church today, my pastor spoke about this. In the words he said, a thought popped through my head: "Don't live life in the rear view mirror." There's clearly regrets we all face in life. There are none of us that are perfect by any means, but I think we all have to stop looking back at those errors and seek God to see what it is that we should do next. My pastor said that God is that little whisper urging us to get closer to Him. It's hard to hear that whisper unless we are in close proximity. It made me think hard about what I do to get closer to God. Even though I feel like I've been a Christian forever, I've spent very little time trying to get that connection. Spiritual attacks can come at you from all sides and try to hit you hardest when you are at your best with God. That seems to be the game the Devil really thrives to win. You think you aren't good enough? Well, the Devil tries to make sure you feel like crap. You think you don't have any way you can do the things that God sets upon your heart to do? Well, Satan will do his worst to see that you don't succeed. With all these thoughts, I don't know that I really have any jewels of wisdom, but I do say that I'm eagerly searching to do what I can to serve God and bring others to Christ. When I truly decided to let go of my fear, I learned I could do anything and that I would be tempted in a lot of ways. I'm learning from church that if I am confident in my faith and actively search for God's direction, I'll be able to help those who need it and myself as well.
Something else hit me today that I feel compelled to say. We always hear that saying: 100% of us will die. The odds are definite. You don't get a second chance. If you don't believe in God or have any kind of relationship with Jesus, what happens to you when you die? I'm certain that there is Heaven on the other side, but for those that don't know, my question to you is: What is it that keeps you from trying it out? I know there are plenty of churches and "religious" people who are judgmental and treat people horribly. Not all of them are like that. Remember what Jesus taught us in John 8:7: So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
God doesn't look at us as the horrible people that society, our friends, our neighbors or even the world might think. He sees us as his children. Yeah, we can be screwed up. We make big mistakes, and we crawl back for forgiveness. Even some of the most important people in the Bible did some really terrible things. But, and this is the key, we all do. We are all human, and we have a Father who looks past that and still loves us. For even a second, if I were not a Christian, and I wondered "what if?", I'd try my best to see what God has to offer. What if, in all this, you realize that God has been there all along for you? What if you look back to some time when you were little and your mom or dad dragged you kicking and screaming to church that you knew, deep down, that you had a purpose there? Find your purpose. Connect with God.
